If we are to use lust as a portal, what would that look like?
“Lust pushes past barriers of self. What starts as a drive to possess can culminate in loss of self. Heightened self-feeling and loss of self go together as well as oppose each other, a paradox we stretch to encompass. Lust brings a new life.”
The above passage by psychoanalyst Michael Eigen points to a very common easy access to our life force. If we are to look at life force as a whole, rather than limiting it to sexuality alone, how would that appear? For starters, we would embark on an initiation of experiencing our bliss body, literally drinking the nectar of ambrosia released within when we reach certain stages of union, also called yoga. Yoga here means the yoking of mind and body which can appear in any activity. Sex can be one activity. Writing another. Traditional yoga also can usher this. If I was to take the warrior pose in hatha yoga, we see ourselves as spiritual Ninjas with double vajras (thunderbolts) releasing from each mudra (hand gesture). They make the vessel of clear seeing through each of us as a mere rainbow body playing its dance of creation and destruction. And as we stabilize in this, we join the ranks of Hui Neng, Sixth Patriarch of Zen, who found no need to clean the mirror of its dust as though it is separate from true nature itself.
Similarly, if meditation was not taught only as a psychological fixer, but instead as a path of total transformation of who we truly are, then what are the myriad possibilities awaiting us? Sometimes, I feel that meditation taught in the West has become like a cosmetic touch up to make us feel good. If you were told that if you meditate, you would be an outlier, would you still do it? If you were told that all your identities would be stripped and all your precious notions of self be burnt, would you still embark on this path? The practices of monks wondering is so deep that they will not develop attachments along the way. At least that is what the practice can possibly usher as a possibility. And if they do move every three days, it is a rapid succession of opportunities to see through the birth and death of identity formations. Impermanence is more readily witnessed inside and outside in this manner of living. There is a starkness to seeing and being.
“We train ourselves and ignore a good deal in our field of experience in favor of efficient functioning, goals, designs, or what we imagine to be useful schemes and fictions.” Here Eigen points to a conditioning prevalent in human group organizations. However, this is only one part of our way of organizing. When we don’t focus/concentrate on function, goals and efficiency, we open to the wideness and full immersion of which we are always a part of.
We would see spectacles of light show within our vision that we wouldn’t need to go to a 3 D movie to get more of a “lived experience” because we will be living it already. We would recognize the light beings that each of us is. We would partake of the life force of the trees and mountains and water all around us. We wouldn’t be ravaging the earth with its resources to fill our starvation for worth and value because we are fullness itself. Lies and deception will just not make sense in the scheme of things. Our sense of insufficiency does not have to translate as failure. Clarity wedded to wonder and delight becomes the play of consciousness.
As I paused in front of the stone stature of the reclining Buddha in a spa, my heart pinched a bit as I was transported back to the giant Buddhas of Polonnaruwa in Sri Lanka. I was in my twenties and had already sold my exquisite camera in the black market in India for wads of rupees I had stashed in my backpack so I could stay and enter long periods of meditation retreats. Ah such is the mind with all its associations pulling the strings of our emotional kaleidoscope! But back in the jungles of Sri Lanka with the serenity of the giant reclining Buddha from the 12th century. We, my late partner and I, sat still saturating in the stillness within the folds of the rock robes as Buddha lay for his last day. We weren’t trying to capture anything. We simply fell in it! No claustrophobia. We simply let go of our fundamentalism of identity at that moment. It was comforting.
The myriad ways we are separate and also connected are inviting us to delve deeper and fuller into the capacity of being in a human incarnation.